Persuasion forms a large part of negotiation, whether we like doing it or not. Many of us feel that persuading someone to do something (usually that they are resisting doing) feels underhand, somehow.

That's not the case when you're trying to encourage someone via persuasion - we've all had times when we needed a little push of persuasion to do what's best for us in the end. This works a lot in business, too. However there are also negative ways of persuading someone, and if you catch yourself doing them, you should try to rein them in. Here are some examples of the differences between the two.

Positive persuasion

When negotiating, it's good to do your homework on the person you're negotiating with. For example, if you know a supplier did a good deal with a competitor, and you want similar treatment rather than to pay the top rate, then you could start with the old adage that 'flattery gets you everywhere' - or in other words, positive reinforcement.

Saying "I loved the previous work you've done, and I'd like to book you for this reason" is better than saying "hey, you did them a deal; I should have the same, too". Our need to be liked is prevalent in all areas of life and if you can use it in your negotiating tactics, then you'll improve at them - so long as it's genuine!

Giving and expecting respect is also another facet of positivity in negotiation. There are obvious signs of disrespect - shouting, inappropriate language and so on, and there are more subtle cues, too - not standing when an important person enters the room, not shaking hands or maintaining eye contact, lacking manners... you may not be doing this on purpose, but it pays to show respect to those you're negotiating with. After all, they have something you want, so they ought to be respected.

Make note of any previous success that people have had, and use this as part of your tactics. You're trying to persuade someone that doing a deal with you will help their success, not detract from it.

Negative persuasion

One of the more common traps that people fall into when negotiating is that they automatically presume that the other person is greedy or has money at their highest priority. That's not always true, and you shouldn't go into a negotiation thinking that you're merely trying to chip away at the greed of the other person. People want to work with others who will enhance their reputation, even at a smaller cost sometimes.

Like success is key to positive persuasion, using failure is not a way to get what you want. Pointing out that something went wrong for the other party in the past will not endear yourself to them or get you a better deal. Saying that they failed so they should be "glad" you're coming to deal with them upsets the balance of power and they are more likely to say no.

Don't focus on the negative - it will do nothing to contribute to happy negotiating. This includes fear, too - saying "if you don't take this deal, then your reputation will be in the mud" or any other fear mongering tactic may backfire on you.

Finally, withholding information, being coy or secretive or any other negative tactic is also likely to backfire on you, because if due diligence is involved, the whole deal will collapse around your ears.

If you get a deal or manage to successfully negotiate based on white lies or the hiding of salient facts, you're not going to do yourself any favours in the future. Negotiation should be a positive experience for both parties, resulting in a mutually acceptable agreement. Using positive instead of negative techniques will ensure this outcome becomes much more likely.