Using And Understanding Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Everyone has heard of an IQ (Intelligence Quotient), but there's also an EQ (Emotional Quotient), due to the fact that some people can be extremely intelligent but unemotive (oh, the pains of genius!). But seriously: before you dismiss "emotion" as a negative thing, think about things that are measured by our feelings instead of pure academic intelligence. Common sense is one and that's a much valued trait in business and life in general. So is empathy. Sympathy. The ability to listen and be heard. They're all dependent on emotions, so improving your EI is in the best interests if you and your colleagues want to get the best out of each other.

An emotion is an internal process - it's incredibly important to realise the difference between external and internal factors when speaking of emotion. Emotions are produced internally, based on external stimulus. The same external stimulus can affect two people in very different ways. For example, let's say that two men observe a young lad playing football. One feels sad inside: perhaps he had a budding football career cut short by an injury. The other feels happy - thinking of his own son who won a trophy that week. That's the key to emotions - you own them and process them, it's not really the external that "causes" you to feel a certain way.

This is an amazing, powerful insight that can help you at work. You've seen it in your colleagues - let's say there's a threat of redundancy being discussed. Some people will be happy - gunning for it, thinking of that great long holiday they'd have followed by pursuing the running of their own business. Some get terrified, for them it means a loss of security and struggle to find a new job.

Dealing with the emotions of others can be difficult yet an immensely useful skill. If a deputy flies off the handle when you delegate a task to them, do you deal with it defensively - telling them why you need them to do this task and that you're very sorry? Or do you deal with it in an emotionally aggressive way: telling them to just lump it, as it's part of their job? Neither works. The key is to understand why someone is feeling a certain way. Have they had a terrible day? Did someone else delegate a load of things to them last week and now they feel like the office dogsbody? Remember their external factors (not necessarily you) will be affecting them. An interesting fact about emotion is not to take it personally.

This is where keeping your own emotions in check can be a useful opportunity. Think of how an employer would see you: someone who keeps a calm head around them, when everyone else is losing theirs, or someone who is crying in the corner if the stress gets too much? You can CHOOSE your emotional state, because (as mentioned before) everything is processed internally. This is not to say that you should be a cold fish, or that emotions are wrong (sometimes it's nice to have a good cry, and let it out). There's a right time and place for everything.

Have you ever been part of a team where one constantly complaining, whining and generally unhappy person has let the whole atmosphere turn sour? Or where one positive, happy, bubbly person has lifted the team? That's how emotions can be a strength - people draw from them and their own emotional state gets affected by yours.

This should give you some idea of how emotions play their part in business. Nowadays there are tons of training courses out there that will help you develop your Emotional Intelligence and nurture it in others. After all, keeping everyone happy is a key to success.